Self-defense or aggression? Playground incident highlights parent-school rift over disciplinary actions 

A viral video is showcasing the role parents can play in shaping school disciplinary actions, even when surveillance footage and stated policies are involved.

TikTok creator @gabectomy originally published the video, saying his 10-year-old daughter was called into the principal’s office for allegedly hitting another student. However, after hearing his daughter’s account and reviewing footage of the incident, he believes she was acting in self-defense.

“Very proud of her,” he commented as he related how the recording showed her being confronted by another student, escaping after throwing a rock at him and then running away.

He now blames the school for failing to provide adequate supervision of the students and said he successfully talked the principal out of disciplining his daughter for something he views as an administrative fault.

“My entire family were teachers growing up,” he continued. “I know stuff’s hard. But she had no parental supervision during that entire time out. And if she did, they weren’t doing their job. Do we wanna talk about that?”

‘We have to discipline both parties’

The dad called the behavior bullying, which the federal government defines as “any unwanted aggressive behavior(s)” involving “an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated.”

“There is no chance in hell that she is getting in trouble for what went on here,” he emphasized in the video, which has more than 740,000 likes.

However, the principal originally proposed “disciplinary actions” to the father as part of school policies.

“And he’s like, ‘Well, we have to discipline both parties,’” he recounted. “I’m like, alright. That’s totally fine. You discipline that kid and I’ll discipline her.”

After 15 minutes of debate, the school agreed to require a written apology and have the student in question move to another class, according to the father.

1 in 5 students report being bullied

Bullying in schools has drawn increasing attention over the years, with the latest statistics showing that one in five students reports being bullied.

The top locations for bullying are classrooms, hallways or stairwells, cafeterias and outdoor school grounds.

Children with special needs can be especially at risk for bullying, as one Cuban family discovered when a sixth grader, Susana, was physically attacked by another classmate.

“They would bully her for her Cuban accent and pressure her to do things she didn’t want to do,” said Adianez, Susana’s mom. She eventually ended up homeschooling Susana and her brother, Enrique.

For their part, teachers tend to blame school disciplinary problems on parents. In a recent EdWeek poll, 58% of teachers supported “instruction for parents on teaching children how to behave in ways that are appropriate for school.”

“When you call parents to speak to their child or sit in the classroom with them, either you’re not getting an answer or you’re getting negative feedback,” said Winnie William-Halls, a special education teacher at Chicago’s Nicholson STEM Academy. “As if you’re saying something bad about their child. We’re just looking for their support to change the behavior.”