Paralyzed online: New report identifies ‘roadblocks’ hindering young men from marriage and family

Young American men want to marry and raise a family, but many of them say these goals feel unattainable and remain stuck in the addictions of social media, gaming and pornography.

Seven in 10 young men use social media multiple times a day while nearly 40% say they have or are still suffering from depression, and 43% say they watch porn at least several times a week, according to a report from the Institute for Family Studies.

The report, America’s Demoralized Men Part II, released in August, follows an earlier report that analyzed Gen Z men and how their life goals match their reality. The survey sampled 2,000 young men, ages 18 to 29, in the United States from April 7-15th, 2025.

The authors define “demoralized” as feeling insufficient, powerless or like a failure.

Most young men associate adulthood with marriage and parenthood but simultaneously rank individualism as more important and believe family milestones can only follow the completion of a degree and financial independence, as previously reported. Only 14% of those surveyed were married, and only 9% had kids.

“Young men identified a number of specific obstacles, from inadequate incomes to limits on educational opportunity, to personal struggles to finding a suitable romantic partner,” IFS authors write in second report. “They are not where they want to be in life, and the mismatch between their aspirations and where they stand is a source of frustration and stress.”

Roadblocks hindering hopes fulfilled

The latest report examines the main obstacles to young men’s goals, including their upbringing, experiences and alienation.  

More than a third of young men grew up without a father’s consistent presence in the home, and more than a quarter (27%) said their relationship with their father is either fair, poor or nonexistent.

“As social science has shown, having a father in the house growing up is generally beneficial to a young man’s development and transition to adulthood, even when aspects of the relationship may be less than ideal,” the authors write.

Additionally, more than 50% of young men experienced traumatic events in their adolescence, with 12% being incarcerated previously and a shocking 44% suffering the loss of a loved one due to imprisonment, suicide, drug overdose or homicide.

With these underlying battles, young men also believe hard work is no longer the best solution to attain a stable, happy life. Three-quarters of young men believe connections are more important than hard work to climb the ladder, and even 43% of men employed full-time say “the American Dream” is inaccessible.

While “who you know” is valuable to career success, young men are experiencing a famine of loneliness with 42% saying they have two or fewer close friends.

Lacking social communities spike online engagement

Adding to the loneliness, only one in four young men say they are involved in an activity outside of work, such as a sports club or volunteering organization. In contrast more than 80% of religious men and 45% of married fathers have at least one commitment outside work.

Despite the community draw, young men are remaining single and secular, as more than 50% say they rarely ever attend a religious service, and only 25% say they do more than once a month.

Instead of church or relationships, Gen Z is turning to online communities including gambling, gaming and porn. More than 55% of young men admit to gambling as a frequent habit: 23% gamble daily, 12% several times a week, and 21% weekly or less.

Nearly half of young men say gaming is a daily part of their lives (44%), and 42% say they game several times a week. Roughly one in two young men also confess to watching porn daily (27%) or several times a week (16%). And married or religious men are not free from this addiction: 21% of married men and 24% of religious service attenders confess to watching porn daily. Only 30% of Gen Z men say they never watch porn.

Yet, men admit that these online addictions increase their own loneliness, depression and self-perception. Of those who gamble daily, 66% say they feel like failures. Nearly 45% of daily porn consumers and 34% of daily gamers say they are lonely, according to the report.

In step with this loneliness epidemic, one in five young men report suffering from depression and another 20% from an anxiety disorder.

“Frequent recourse to some of the on-line activities, including gambling and porn viewing, are associated with greater loneliness, depression, and feelings of failure, suggesting both an enervating effect of these activities and that young men are turning to them as a means of coping with the stress of their predicament,” the authors write. “At a minimum, it seems safe to say that these activities are serving to fill voids in real-life experience, for challenges or achievement or dates, or are engaged with the hopes of escaping their present circumstances into a different reality, the fuller life they envision.”

“Get Married”

In opposition to culture’s anti-men, anti-marriage, anti-family anthem, IFS encourages Gen Z adults to prioritize marriage, which by no means heals all sins or addictions but still statistically brings greater happiness and stability. The group recently released a “Get Married” map and report.

The report finds young adults marry at higher rates in interior states such as Kansas, Nebraska and Tennessee, and not in large coastal cities like New York or Los Angeles. Additionally, more young women marry in areas with higher rates of men employed full-time.

“Where are young adults actually getting married? Given the many benefits of marriage, a city where more young people are tying the knot might ultimately provide a more fulfilling life than one with just excellent entertainment and tasty food – but few weddings,” the report authors write.

While location won’t resolve all young men’s roadblocks, a city of young communities also prioritizing marriage may offer quicker routes to fulfilling their hopes of marriage and family.

(Image credit: Unsplash/ florian-olivo)