Despite all their options and technology access, Generation Z parents are veering toward “a more old-school approach to parenting than their parents,” a recent news article notes.

“More than four in five parents polled (85%) agree that there’s no ‘one size fits all’ approach when it comes to parenting, as they blend an average of three different parenting styles,” concludes The Charlotte Post over a recent Kiddie Academy survey.

“According to The Bump, parenting priorities likely reflect the environments each generation grew up in. For example, millennials who came of age in the ’90s have seen a growing cultural focus on mental health, while Gen Zers, who came of age during a challenging post-COVID job market, see the need to be ‘practical, resilient and future-ready.’”

The article highlights three ways in which Gen Z parenting differs from previous ones – “tough love,” healing generational trauma, and customized styles based on each child’s needs.

‘Actions have consequences’

The first difference emphasizes the reality of a world where children cannot expect to have everything laid out for them, according to The Post.

“There’s an intentional focus on preparing children for life’s inevitable disappointments instead of sheltering them. Survey findings also revealed these younger parents follow their own intuition (47%) slightly more than they follow their parents’ advice (46%).”

As a result, 40% of Gen Z parents – typically born during the late 1990s to early 2010s – described their approach as “somewhat” to “very different” from the preceding generation, the survey found.

“This paradigm shift in parenting reflects the real-world focus of Gen Zers compared to previous generations … more ‘actions have consequences’ than ‘trophies for everyone,’” The Post wrote.

This emphasis coincides with more recent child-rearing approaches such as “panda parenting,” made popular by moms such as Esther Wojcicki, sometimes described as the godmother of Silicon Valley.

Her book, How to Raise Successful People, draws on her experience raising her daughters, including the late Susan Wojcicki (former YouTube CEO) and Anne Wojcicki (23andMe co-founder).

“I came up with a useful acronym for panda parenting, and it’s TRICK, which stands for trust, respect, independence, collaboration and kindness,” Wojcicki told journalists.

She also clarified “respect doesn’t mean allowing a kid to do whatever they want; it means respecting their ideas and listening, and having discussions to figure out how to give them as much independence as possible.”

This method encourages parents to let their children resolve their own issues whenever possible instead of helicopter parenting, which can lead to anxiety and dependence on others, advocates say.

“Unfortunately, helicopter parenting – though it’s done from a place of concern and a desire to help one’s child as much as possible to be successful – ends up with the opposite result, where kids feel that they always need help in order to be able to do something.”

Addressing generational trauma

The second difference involves generational trauma – something previous generations tended to ignore or avoid discussing.

In the survey, nearly half (41%) of Gen Z parents showed a strong inclination toward “cycle-breaking parenting” (41%), described as “healing generational trauma by actively identifying and addressing negative family patterns,” The Post wrote.

“Not only does this parenting style require self-awareness and empathy, it takes courage to face unresolved issues and uncomfortable emotions.”

Part of this movement surfaced as active pushback to gentle parenting, which has fallen out of favor with the generation most used to it, according to the article.

“Despite Gen Z being the first generation raised with ‘gentle parenting’ in mind, only 32% employ this approach as parents themselves,” journalists observed.

Even some millennial parents have questioned the practice, arguing it hurts children’s overall development while saddling parents with impossibly high standards.

“Drifting away from gentle parenting made me realize that parenting is more about trusting your gut than following scripts and best practices,” wrote Hannah Nwoko for Business Insider. “I’ve learned to be myself and foster a healthy mother-son relationship with my child by enforcing firm limits and expectations while always giving warmth and support.”

Nwoko also mentioned trauma as one of her parenting concerns, though she initially thought it would stem from an overbearing disciplinary approach.

“As a millennial mom, I’ve always had this fantasy of raising my child as my friend – being the ‘cool mom’ was absolutely my dream,” she wrote. “I was so afraid of traumatizing my son by being too firm and imposing too many rules.”

However, Nwoko adapted over the years after seeing “varying levels of noncompliance” in children, particularly her own.

“As my son approached preschool age, it became apparent that he would struggle in school – and the real world – if I didn’t change my approach to parenting,” she wrote.

“His tantrums would go on for too long, he would be defiant with everyday tasks, and he would struggle to recognize authority. Even when I followed the gentle parenting scripts laid out by gurus, everything felt like an ongoing tug of war.”

Changing approaches based on age, individual needs

The third difference involves Gen Z’s willingness to choose parenting styles “based on what their individual child needs,” The Post reported.

“Perhaps because they’re having fewer children than previous generations and delaying having children due to the desire to achieve financial stability first, Gen Zers plan to be less traditional about raising children.”

Furthermore, 84% of parents surveyed admitted they had changed their parenting styles as their children grew older, according to the news outlet.

“They have a strong desire to make the world a better place and model this outlook for their children.”

Such tendencies among Gen Z have also translated into a renewed interest in conservative Christianity, noted a recent New York Times guest essay.

“The Christian right of Gen Z is different from that of their parents’ or grandparents’ time. Members of those generations largely came of age in the Eisenhower era, when civil religion was so strong that the president led a prayer at his inauguration and signed legislation adding ‘under God’ to the Pledge of Allegiance. Schools in many regions started the day with classroom prayer or Bible reading.”

Daniel K. Williams, associate professor of history at Ashland University, attributed this interest to changing circumstances after the COVID-19 pandemic.

“In the aftermath of Covid – and amid the longing for purpose, community and transcendence that many Gen Z-ers feel – a sizable minority of them have found their answer in conservative Christianity, fueling both a religious and a political revival among these young Americans.”

Joy Turner, the Kiddie Academy’s vice president of education, observed “parents are learning to parent as they go” as each generation ultimately discovers through experience, not necessarily education.

“Creating a nurturing environment where children feel safe, supported and loved,” she said, “is ultimately the most important thing we can do for our little ones.”