Just in time for Halloween, scary Christian House Speaker Mike Johnson lurks around the corner to spread a different kind of spirituality

If you’re looking for a really spooky Halloween costume Tuesday night, consider dressing up as new U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson.

Of course, the warning label reads, “CAUTION: This costume may not be suitable for young children.” Johnson is just that scary. After all, he’s “an Election Denier and an Extreme Christian Fundamentalist,” according to a terror-stricken left-wing media. And as Saturday Night Live warns us, he’s a nerdy white guy who, as a newlywed, adopted a black youth not that much younger than himself.

“It’s normal, don’t look into that at all,” the show bizarrely jokes, insinuating Johnson had dark motives for the adoption.

Look out kids! It’s Freddy Krueger in a pressed suit!

Because, you know, faith and marriage are so destructive to society, and are to be avoided at all costs – whereas moorlessness and debauchery are working out so well for folks. And, of course, we know that no one on the other side of the aisle has ever questioned an election. Right?

Really, though, it’s most astounding how purely horrifying it is to the “mainstream” media to have a person of faith somehow bubble up to a position of power in government – a fairly bizarre posture to take in a country that houses the largest known collection of Christians in the world. Of America’s 332 million population, about 63% – some 210 million – are Christians.

But God forbid any of them become Speaker of the House! That’s extreme in the extreme, even for people who call everything they disagree with “extreme.”

Johnson did mention God prominently in accepting the Speaker’s gavel. And critics were agog when he and his colleagues had the audacity to pray on the House floor – one outraged X user opining that “@HouseGOP members praying on the House floor offends both our Constitution and the New Testament” – a sentiment that just might surprise the folks who actually wrote the Constitution.

The website formerly known as Business Insider also finds Johnson guilty of entering into Louisiana’s optional, but apparently crazy “covenant marriage” in which – gasp! – the couple acknowledges a lifelong commitment that they’ll be loath to get out of.

For Heaven’s sake, who does that?

“If the newly-elected Speaker of the House wants to get a divorce, he’ll have a harder time doing so than most Americans,” the site alerts an apparently oblivious Johnson and, by extension, warns the rest of us about this frightening faith fanatic.

What kind of fundamentalist nut takes marriage that seriously? Has he never watched primetime television? Has he never used a drive-through? Never heard of a quickie divorce? Why doesn’t he join the rest of secular society in the age of convenience? Because, you know, divorce is so great for kids, and all. Get with the program, Mr. Troglodyte!

“Yeah, so typical,” Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley tells me of the anti-Christian reflex aimed at the new Speaker. “I think maybe he prayed with some members on the floor and, you know, ‘Oh my gosh, I mean, how could we ever have that?’ It tells you a lot, that the liberals think if you want to bow your head in prayer on the floor of the House, that you’re a threat to democracy. But if you want to march around America’s college campuses and call for the destruction of Jews, that’s all perfectly fine. I mean, somebody’s got their priorities seriously messed up here. 

“I don’t know the new Speaker, but I like him from what I know about him. I wish him the best. And I can tell you what: I’d much rather have a Speaker who’s ready to acknowledge his dependence on God than one that thinks that it’s fine to kill Jews and to try to play God with the lives of other people.”

“Mike Johnson is a good man, a great leader, and Mike is a man of God,” adds Kansas Republican Chairman Mike Brown in an email to supporters. Brown was in the House chamber for Johnson’s taking of the gavel.

“He believes the most important things in life are faith, family, and freedom – and that those foundations of our great country are under attack,” Brown continues. “We all know that right now, in America, children are being taught in many schools to be ashamed of their country and themselves. The pledge is being taken out of school because it mentions God. Free speech is being censored and silenced right before our eyes. Democrats are fighting for the right to elective abortion right up to the moment of birth. Unelected and unaccountable bureaucrats are seeking control of almost every aspect of our lives.

“This is simply un-American, and we must stop the madness. We must elect more leaders who make decisions based on American values with an emphasis on God, family, and country. It’s the only way to preserve the blessings we have been given here.”

How odd, how sad, how truly frightening that so many see that as something straight out of a horror movie.

Johnson is right to pray for America.


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